Blame it on the Brontes by Annie Sereno

Here’s the deal: I did not like this book, but I did finish it. I think in part to see if I HAD guessed the big reveal while reading the first chapter (not really a spoiler alert, but I did.)

Athena Murphy is home for the fall to write a book and save her job. Her hometown is also home to a secretive smut bestselling writer and she’s determined to do an expose. Thorne is her college boyfriend, the one, whose family secrets split them up in the first place.

When I guessed the ending on the fifth page, I knew I was doomed. Either the author was catering too much to the reader and dumbed it down or she genuinely thought that she would shock us at the end, which meant she didn’t have a strong support system to give that critical feedback and present those clues in a less obvious manner.

The way I described this book in book club was that it had too much story inception. Athena would be in the middle of something, then her borther would interrupt her, then she would get lost in her thoughts, THEN there would be a thought flashback. IT WAS TOO MUCH.

Also, the author was trying to be too clever. Every joke felt stilted and forced. I swear, the dog was just there as a device to make fart jokes. He served no other purpose. There were too many characters and too much happening for it to be a smooth read. MAKE. EVERY. CHARACTER. MATTER. This book needed a severe edit and more focus. The plot point moments needed to mean something and they were often undermined a few chapters later.

This book wants you to believe that it’s mad-cap, that the characters are all quirky - and they are - but not EVERY SINGLE PERSON CAN BE QUIRKY.

I have reader fatigue. I want to challenge Annie Sereno to write a romance where there are only two people on a deserted island.

Secondly or maybe thirdly, I’ve lost track of my rant-points, but I HATE people who cannot say shit when they mean poop or ass when they mean butt. These characters said words like patootie and yet could curse up a storm in another scene. I hate that. It’s not cutesy or folksy. These are adults. If they are incapable of cursing, make it consistent and GIVE THEM A REASON.

I’m giving it two stars, which is generous, one star because I finished it (so really, that star is for me and because I guessed the ending while on pg 5) and the second star is because I also love the Bronte sisters, so the author has good taste, just not a great editor. -Ford

OH! OH! PS!!! The greatest insult of all: IT’S A CLOSED DOOR ROMANCE. ::throws hands in the air and leaves looking for smut::